Claiming Your Voice and Space with Eliza VanCort
// Every woman has experienced the frustration of being written off or silenced when she attempts to put a new idea forward. How can women feel confident about owning their space and offering their gifts to the world? Author and TED Talk speaker Eliza Van Cort shares insights from her journey to reclaim her voice.
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Hey! It’s Andrea, and welcome to the Voice of Influence podcast. Today, I have with me Eliza VanCort, who is the author of a new book coming out in May. It is called… Eliza, tell us what it’s called – A Woman’s Guide to Claiming Space. That’s what it is! Stand Tall. Raise Your Voice. Be Heard. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.
Eliza VanCort: No, no, that’s fine.
Andrea: I was like, “Oh, I know what it is!” Eliza is an in-demand consultant, speaker, and writer in communications, career, and workplace issues, and women’s empowerment. The founder of The Actor’s Workshop of Ithaca, she is also a Cook House Fellow at Cornell University, an advisory board member of the Performing Arts for Social Change, a diversity crew partner, and a member of Govern for America’s League of Innovators. Her first book, this book, A Woman’s Guide to Claiming Space, is published in May. So, Eliza, welcome to the Voice of Influence podcast. So, glad to have you here!
Eliza VanCort: I’m so excited to be here! Thank you so much for having me!
Andrea: So, Eliza, can you start with why did you decide to write this book? How did it come about?
Eliza VanCort: Oh, that’s a tough one. That’s a long story. But I will try to give you the abbreviated version. I had a pretty traumatic childhood, and I really decided I needed to be invisible to be safe. And so, I grew up trying to crawl my way out of that headspace. And eventually, I thought I was close, and then I got hit by a car. Sounds unrelated. But after my car accident, I couldn’t remember anything, and I was really struggling. But then eventually, I started to feel like, “Oh, I think I’m better,” besides the fact that, you know, I like raw tomatoes, crave them now, and I hated them before. “I think I’m doing pretty well.”
There were weird things, but I was doing well. And then one of my friends came over, and I said, “You know, the only really weird thing is that everybody’s acting so strangely.” And she said, “Eliza, they’re not. You are. You are really compromised with your communication.” And my world really came crashing down around me because I was really a good communicator prior. And now not only was I’m not a good communicator, but I was so impaired that I didn’t even know I wasn’t communicating well.
So, I had to build my communication back brick by brick by brick, and in that process, I sort of discovered the HTML of communication. But I also started watching people and thinking, you know, “Why is this woman doing so well? Everybody’s really listening to her. She’s,” you know, “wasn’t claiming space or space with” kept coming into my head, but I didn’t exactly know the word for it. “And why is this woman just really seeming like she’s just not in her power?”
And I broke it down into five rubrics and started to think, “What if I could share this with people?” So, that was the kickoff of my speaking career. And then – this is where it gets pretty funny, but most women will relate, I think – after my talks, women would follow me to the bathroom. And we all know what the women’s bathroom is like. We’d have conversations in that bathroom we would not have anywhere else. And they would say, you know, “I didn’t want to ask this in Q&A but…” And I realized a lot of these questions were the same. They were the same questions. And I thought, “Well, what if I took these conversations in the bathroom and took them into the sunlight so that we could all really see them, and talk about them, and lift the shame around some of them?”
And so, that was the beginning of thinking of how I could scale the book. So, it was a really long journey. If many things hadn’t happened in my life, I would have never written that book.
Andrea: You’ve been a coach… from what I understand, a coach or somebody that’s helped other speakers and people to be able to really own that presence, I assume, not just in the speaking realm, but in the boardroom or wherever they are. What are a couple of the things that you see most commonly when you were talking about, you know, these common questions that people have? What are some of the most common things that you’re hearing, just even a couple of them?
Eliza VanCort: Well, I mean, the first thing – which is always hilarious – is often if there’s a department with one man and many women, almost invariably the man will stand up and say in Q&A, “Well, I have to say, like, I want know what I should do. Because I am interrupted all the time in these meetings,and I just can’t get a word in from these women.” And usually it’s the boss. And then I go in the bathroom, and this woman kind of sidles up to me and starts washing her hands. And she’s like, “Okay, remember that guy who asked that question? He dominates the meetings, and we don’t know what to do.” So, I have to start talking to them about interruptions and mansplaining. So, that’s sort of the bread and butter stuff.
But I also get questions about more difficult things like, “What do I do about, you know… I have a boss who just cuts me down,” or “I’m dealing with sexual harassment,” or “I’m having trouble figuring out how to cultivate allies.” And these lead to really deep, deep questions that can move into even, you know, “How do I deal with a toxic relationship?” Because so much of who we are and how we are in space and in our worlds has to do with how we claim space, and then therefore, how people respond to us.
Andrea: Yeah, we are really focused on influence here, and that claiming space thing is very interesting to me. Talk to me about why it’s so important for us to claim space. What is that? What is it that we’re giving up?
Eliza VanCort: Well, I mean, historically, women have been punished for claiming space, and it’s been quite serious. And we still are punished to a certain extent, and women of color are punished more. So, I have a chapter called “Crazy Feminist Bitch” in my book, and it’s about the words that have been traditionally used to silence women. And those three words are umbrella words, and they’re code for behaviors women aren’t supposed to have. And if we do say those things, if we do certain behaviors, suddenly we’re slapped with these labels, and it’s meant to shut us up.
And historically, when we’ve had these labels slapped on us, you know, we’ve had women burned at the stake as witches. You know, they caught women together… Like, one of the things of crazy feminist bitch is this connection with being a lesbian and how that’s somehow bad. And historically, if you were caught, you could be beaten for that. And now, you know, black women, of course, if they’re in a car and they are pulled over and they claim too much space, they run the risk of dying, you know.
So, there’s a huge continuum, obviously. But I think that we have this historic and current memory of the blowback we get when we claim space. And so, often, if we don’t know how to do it in a way that’s safe, we defer to being small because we really get rewarded for being small. And the way I think of it is that dog in a dog park… I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a dog in a dog park that submits to the other dog? As soon as that dog submits, the other dogs leave them alone, but now they have to follow. And I think we are rewarded for submitting. And I think that as women, it is hard not to do that at times, but it is absolutely necessary.
Andrea: How much do you think that the desire for connection – relational, emotional connection – plays into our willingness to submit space?
Eliza VanCort: Well, I mean, I think sometimes we are connecting to the wrong thing. So, that’s actually something that I talk about in the book. There are five rubrics, and if you want, I can go over them. But there are five rubrics that sort of make a really good space claimer, and one of them is the ability to connect. And I think that we want to connect with people who raise us up, who let us expand into our most powerful self. But often the people that we’re trying to connect to are the very people who make us the smallest. Because I feel like on some level, in the back of our heads, we’re like, “Wow, if I can get this person to like me, then I must be okay because they’re the most critical person in my life,” as opposed to, “Why would I go to the most critical person in my life, and try to get them to like me and approve when I have all these cheerleaders who really see me for who I am?”
And you know, in the book, I talk about this concept of anti-mentors. And I think that if you feel like there’s someone in your life who is trying to make you small, and who rewards you for being small, if you say, “Wow, whenever I’m small, this person is really nice to me,” that is a good indicator to get the hell out of that relationship, or to find a way if they are a parent or aunt or a boss to neutralize the effect they’re having on you.
Andrea: It’s so easy to feel like it’s all competitive. It’s so easy to feel the scarcity. I don’t know, what are your thoughts?
Eliza VanCort: Well, one of the things I write about in the book – and I know I’ve said that many times, but I’ve been talking about the book a lot – is this idea of the scarcity myth. And we’ve really been trained… if you think of power as a triangle, on the top of that triangle, there’s a little mini triangle. And in that mini triangle, that’s where power lies. It’s very small, and there are very few people in there, and that has been white men, historically.
Now, because of that, if you had one woman – let’s say a blonde woman – up there, and another woman starts to come in, usually it was because the other one was leaving, because they had one tokenized person in each category. And that has trained us to have this feeling of scarcity that if somebody comes in, somebody else has to leave. And so that means the up-and-comer goes after the person on top and the person on top tries to push them down.
And for me, really being aware of when I’m feeling competitive with someone and that’s why I’m having a visceral reaction to them rather than there really is something going on that they’re doing that I need to address is key. Because sometimes people just do dumb stuff. Women do dumb stuff. Men do dumb stuff. I do dumb stuff all the time. But sometimes, you know, we’re doing something because we’re having a trigger reaction, and we’re feeling insecure.
And when that happens, I think the first step is to identify that, and then really do the opposite orientation of what you think you should, and really lean into that person and say, “How can I support this person?” Because invariably, invariably, as soon as you shift that dynamic, with my clients and you know, from my own experience, it’s like, “Oh, I have an ally. I have a friend,” and suddenly, everything gets infinitely better because instead of fighting against each other, you’re supporting each other.
Andrea: Hmm. It’s so important. Okay, I know one of the things that you talk about in the book is about… and not just in your book, you talk about it in your TED Talk. So, in your TED talk, you talk about these sort of defensive – “sort of,” I just did it – these defensive filler words that we use like “um” and “sort of.” When I was watching your TED talk, I kept thinking to myself this is one of the reasons why I took back over my editing of the podcast, it allows me to see all of my words. And if I wanted to, I could just erase them all right away, but I have realized that I can’t do that all the time. And I’m just struck by how many filler words there really are.
Eliza VanCort: Oh, yeah.
Andrea: So, that first, I’ll ask that first. So, why do we do filler words?
Eliza VanCort: Right. Well, I will say that even though I understand this stuff, I am far from having mastered it. So, I have been watching myself because I’ve been doing a lot of podcasts for the book. And I’m noticing I say, “Well, I think,” which really isn’t necessary because of course it’s what I think, right? Why do I have to say that? And I also say “you know” a lot, and that’s an affirmation, right? “You know? You know? Is it okay? Is it okay?” So, I’m seeing that with myself, and I’m trying to check myself when I do it.
And of course, some filler words are going to happen, and you don’t want to be so paralyzed that you’re afraid to talk because you’re thinking, “What if I say, ‘um?’ Oh no.” But you know, it is good to be mindful of it. The reason why women use so many filler words is because we tend to be statistically interrupted more than men. And so, we adopt these compensatory strategies, these defensive speech patterns like “um,” “but,” “you know,” in order to avert these interruptions, and it works. It actually works. It’s a good short-term plan, but it’s a very bad long-term plan because if you’re constantly, “uh, you know, feeling, uh, you know what I mean, like, really,” it just dilutes your message so much.
And if we can start to work on silence and embracing silence and owning silence, then we will be able to not use those as much because we don’t need to sit there and go, “Okay, I’m afraid of sound so I better put an ‘um’ here because God forbid someone thinks I’m thinking or breathing,” you know what I’m saying? On the other hand, you don’t need to be so proper that you’re speaking the Queen’s English because, to me, that’s… if I’m always talking like this, and I’m never saying “you know,” and it just becomes a little obnoxious. There’s a balance to be struck.
And I want to stress that the reason why men interrupt is not because men are born interrupters. And I think that’s really important to stress, particularly to the mamas out there – my fellow mamas and my fellow papas listening to this. Because the reason that little men interrupt is because they’ve done this really interesting research that when boys are little, boys are told to stop interrupting less than little girls. So, what happens is boys don’t have a sense that they shouldn’t interrupt so they just interrupt. And girls are taught to stop talking when someone’s talking because everything is seen as interruption. So, boys, they interrupt, and the girls get really quiet.
And so, we want to, as parents, make sure we are equal opportunity educators about this and make sure our little boys are told, “Don’t interrupt,” at the same rate as our little girls because that is how we’re training our kids. And if you grow up being taught one thing by your parents, what are you going to do? You’re going to do what they taught you. And I look back because I have two boys, a nephew, and a daughter. And I’m a parent to all of them, although my nephew came to our family a little later. And I remember so many times telling my daughter not to interrupt. “Stop interrupting. Don’t interrupt. Be polite.” I know I didn’t do it as much with my sons in hindsight, and it just kills me because she does stop talking a little bit more. Luckily, she’s really stepping into herself, but there was a time where she would shut up when the boys started talking.
Andrea: Hmm. Interesting. “I’m sorry.” This is something that I do all the time. I say this all the time instead of “excuse me,” like when I bumped into somebody or whatever. It’s the classic, “I don’t want to take up too much space” move, and I have been trying to be more cognizant of it. It’s really difficult, but I am working on it. I think one of the things about “I’m sorry” is that I grew up thinking that, you know, when you apologize for something, the other person should forgive you. Why do I need to be forgiven for accidentally bumping into somebody? Like, that doesn’t require forgiveness, right? Why would I do this?
Eliza VonCort: Well, it’s funny, we don’t even apologize when we bump into people. Sometimes we apologize when someone bumps into us. I know that I’ve done that. Yeah, I’m walking down the street, and somebody will whack into me and I go, “Sorry.” And I go, “Wait a minute, what the hell happened? You bumped into me,” or “She bumped into me,” but it’s very strange. We’ve just been taught over viscerally to apologize, and we’ve been taught to apologize for being alive, really.
And on a very fundamental level, we have been taught to apologize for claiming space. And when we do, we often say, “Well, I’m going to claim some space, but I’m really sorry about it.” What I lately have been saying instead of “I’m sorry…” so for example, if I’m late on an email, I won’t say, “Hey, I’m so sorry for being late.” I say, “Thanks so much for waiting. I really appreciate your patience as I got back to you, you know, a day later than we thought,” or “Thanks so much. I really appreciate that you’re open to x,” instead of, “I’m really sorry that dadada.” And it does change the way that people respond to you.
I have a friend now who… she does a lot of podcasts, and she has a messy office. And sometimes she just does them in her messy office. And she starts every guest appearance with, “I just want to say I appreciate so much you enjoying my messy office,” or “I appreciate you putting up with my messy office,” you know, instead of, “I’m embarrassed, and I’m sorry about my office.” She’s just like, “I’m owning my office,” which I love.
Andrea: You talk about in your book, you talk about not telling lies.
Eliza VanCort: Hmm, yes.
Andrea: What can you tell us about not telling lies?
Eliza VanCort: Well, you know, my acting school is based on a technique called the Meisner technique, the Sanford Meisner technique. And the Meisner technique is all about picking up on micro-behaviors of other people, the minutiae human behavior, and then being aware of our own behavior. And going back and forth in this very stylized improv where you’re being very truthful with people, batting around these truths back and forth. And the classes get so tight, because everybody is going to this very deep place with each other. And I mean, we’ve had Meisner babies out of the class, lifetime friendships. It’s absolutely beautiful.
And for me, I think that the platitudes that we are told to do every day – while they do have a place – contribute to a feeling of alienation because we’re really taught to lie all day long like sociopaths and just accept it. And if we don’t lie like sociopaths people say to us, “What’s wrong with you? You’re nuts.” So, for example, if I say, “Hey, how’re you doing?” and you say, “Oh well, you know, I’m doing fine. How are you?” and your aunt just died. I’m supposed to say, “Oh, that’s great!” And then you say, “Great!” But really, you’re sad inside. Your aunt just died.
So, for me, it’s better to say, “Well, you know, I’m doing okay.” Or “I’ve had better days. Thanks for asking.” Everything doesn’t need to be okay. One of the things that’s come out of this horrific tragedy, epic historic tragedy that this is pandemic is I think there is more of a tolerance for truth and for not being okay.
Andrea: Yeah.
Eliza VanCort: And we all weren’t okay before this pandemic. Let’s be clear. We all have our not okay days. I have them all the time, but we were expected to lie all the time and say, “I’m fine. How are you?” or you know, “My day is great,” or whatever. And now we’re allowed to say, “It’s a little hard, but I’m getting through.” And I think it’s just such a gift, actually, because I think it’s the foundation of a more authentic society.
Andrea: Yeah. Pain tends to do that. Pain, like the actual real… not just pain, but the way that we respond to the pain. Actually accepting that it’s true and being able to be honest, those are all really important.
Eliza VanCort: Absolutely.
Andrea: I think of it as you can be real without baring all. I don’t have to tell you all about my aunt dying.
Eliza VanCort: Yes. That’s right.
Andrea: But I can say that I’m okay, and not lie.
Eliza VanCort: “I’m great. I’m fine.” And I think there’s another layer to that, which is women are supposed to make men comfortable in conversation. That is sort of our job, right, is to make men comfortable. And if you doubt that, watch an interaction between a man and a woman. And if there’s a lull in the conversation, it is usually the woman who picks up the ball and starts throwing it back.
Because we’re trained to be nurturers, and so we’re always making sure everybody’s okay in an interaction, whereas men are a little more comfortable – and I think it’s a good thing – letting other people be uncomfortable with their opinion. “Like, I’m going to say my opinion. If you’re not cool with it, okay.” You know, and I think that it’s okay for us to disagree with each other, and to say, “Hey, you know, I don’t agree with you. And that’s okay, and this is my opinion.”
And so that also comes out in this feeling of making sure everybody’s okay. And if you have to make everyone feel like they’re okay, you can’t always speak your truth. Because sometimes what your truth is, is not something that makes people feel good. Sometimes what your truth is makes people feel bad because they don’t agree with it. Or maybe they’ve done something that makes you sad inside, and you want to tell them, and that’s uncomfortable for them.
And that’s to me, we need to be okay being uncomfortable, and we need to be okay making others uncomfortable. And that is not to say to be cruel. I think being kind is paramount. Like, we must be kind to each other, but we can be kind and still hold on to our own core, our own center at the same time. I don’t think one is exclusive to the other.
Andrea: I think that when I realized that pain wasn’t going to kill me and that actually I could learn from pain, it helped me to be less worried about other people experiencing pain because I had this other belief that maybe they’ll learn or grow from it or something. The reason why I say that is I think that – maybe it’s just because I’m a woman – but I think that there are people who tend to feel other people’s feelings more often than others.
Those of us who feel other people’s feelings, I think, are trying to make other people feel comfortable, perhaps partly for what you were talking about, just because we feel like we need to. But also, because we don’t want ourselves to feel uncomfortable because somebody else is uncomfortable, because we’re, like, mirroring their emotions.
Eliza VanCort: Right, right.
Andrea: So, for me, I had to kind of get to that point where I was like, “Well, you know what, it’s okay if they feel uncomfortable. I can be uncomfortable, too, that they’re uncomfortable.” It serves a better purpose, I guess.
Eliza VanCort: Right. And I also think it bleeds into every aspect of our lives. So, in one of my relationships, I had somebody who I really cared about. He was a wonderful person, and one of the things we struggled with is I would sometimes bite my tongue. And you know, my emotional kryptonite – which I talk about a lot in the book, emotional kryptonite – is I will often be absolutely in my power when it comes to the women in my life, and I will be absolutely in my power when it comes to my male friends. But when it comes to a guy I like, sometimes not so much so I’m working on that.
And one of the things I do is I just sort of bite my tongue. I’m really trying. I’m doing it less and less. But particularly years ago, I would just bite my tongue and not say anything because I thought “Well, is it really worth the conversation?” But the problem is it just builds and builds and builds and builds and builds, and eventually, you get resentful. And you start doing things that are kind of crappy because you have this built-up resentment. They don’t know why the heck you’re doing that. And the next thing you know, you’re fighting over, you know, the toothbrush that was left in the wrong place as opposed to what really matters.
So, for me, I’ve really come to the conclusion that in any relationship, it’s better to have hard discussions early that are terribly hard than wait until everything has built up and you’re just pissed.
Andrea: Yeah. That’s true.
Eliza VanCort: It’s better to have those little discussions as you go.
Andrea: Yeah. It blows up. Why do you suppose you were biting your tongue? Why with men that you’re, you know, interested in?
Eliza VanCort: Right. Well, I think we get that message. There’s a stage little girls go through in middle school. Before middle school, they are valued by what they do much more. You know, they don’t have boobs yet. Little boys and girls are pretty much the same. And they can be good students, and everyone thinks it’s cool. Then they start going through puberty. And in that moment, the value shifts from what they do to what boys like them. They start getting their social capital from boys, and the boys are still valued by what they do.
And so, the girls need to start to make themselves small so the boys will like them. And they start acting dumber in class. They start acting really clumsy. And if we have time, I’ll tell you pretty powerful story about that. For me, we really are trained that if we want boys to… particularly the younger generation, if we want boys to like them, we can’t outshine them. We can’t question them. And I think that historic memory of our childhood is just reinforced and reinforced and reinforced and reinforced. I mean, there’s still books out there that are like, “How to get a guy,” you know. It’s like, “Do all kinds of terrible things for yourself and for him,” as opposed to, “Be you.”
So, working against that training, I think, is hard because having a truly equitable relationship in a situation where one person in the world has more power than you than the other, and you’ve been trained to cede your power anyway is hard. So, for me, it takes an incredible amount of mindfulness and a really awesome partner who also wants to participate in an equal relationship.
Andrea: Hmm. What was the story?
Eliza VanCort: So, my daughter… and she lets me tell the story. So, my daughter, before she was in middle school, was a badass. I mean, she was amazing. And then she hit middle school, and she started to act dumb. She was a triathlete before. She started to like to run into walls and say she was clumsy. I was like, “What is going on here?” And I talked to my best friend Kim, one of my best friends, and she said, “You know, listen,” and she explained to me everything I just explained to you. And she said, “You got to talk to Ella.”
So, I sat down my daughter and I said, “Listen, honey,” you know, and I gave her the whole breakdown I just said to you. And I said, “I think you’re sort of giving up yourself to be liked by these boys.” And she kind of went, “Oh Mom, that’s not true, whatever. You’re just always saying words.” So then about three weeks later, she came home, and she said, “Mom, you were right.” And I said, “What do you mean?” She said, “I was walking down the hall and these two boys were behind me. And one of them said, ‘I like a girl because she’s smart,’ and started laughing. And then the other boy said, ‘I like a girl because she has a great personality,’ and started laughing.”
And I said… it still makes me cry to think about this. I said, “Well, how did that make you feel?” And she said, “It was mean.” And I said, “Yeah, Ella, that’s mean.” And in that moment, she was like, “Nope, I’m not gonna participate in this anymore. Forget this.” And she is now one of the most powerful… She’s like the UN ambassador to her college, and she’s working on, you know, immigrants’ rights and helping women who’ve been sexually assaulted who are looking for amnesty at the border. And she’s just this fierce, incredible young woman.
And, you know, me as her mom, she still had that moment of, “Oh my God,” you know, and it was hard. It was hard to watch, and I didn’t even see it. My friend had to tell me because it was so gradual. And so, I think for us, for our girls, making sure… if we want to have these equitable, beautiful, loving relationships – if it is a straight relationship – we need to teach both parties how to be their full selves and make sure everybody is claiming the same amount of space, you know.
Andrea: We are starting to wrap things up here. What is the vision you have for your book?
Eliza VanCort: Well, the book is really important to me. If you want, I can tell you the five, since we’re going toward the end. So, there are five qualities I found that women who claim a lot of space have. And the first one is they’re masterful communicators – they claim space with their body and their voice. The second one is they claim space in terms of who they bring into their space. So, they’re really good at bringing wonderful people in and also keeping people out of their space that they don’t want in there.
The third one is emotional kryptonite – they don’t sabotage their selves, you know. They’re really careful not to cede space because of self… you know, imposter syndrome or all those other things. The fourth is they’re really careful to make sure that when they go into a space, they assess if they’re safe or they’re not. And if they’re not, they know how to mitigate any of the aggressions they’re dealing with, like microaggressions, mansplaining, or sexual harassment.
And the final thing is intersectionality, which means they make sure that the women in their space are not just women who look like them. They make sure that they are women who are different from them, whether it’s age, race, gender, you know, if they’re queer, or whatever. They are women who will bring a different perspective to their lives, and they actively try to raise up other women. Because sometimes in order to claim space – particularly if you’re white and your privileged – you need to cede some space if you have an unfair share.
So, for me, making sure that I wrote a book that was truly intersectional – and thank you to Kimberle Crenshaw, who came up with that term and is so brilliant – but a truly intersectional feminist book where every woman can pick it up and say, “I can learn real, concrete steps from this book.” That is my goal. And it wasn’t easy to get it published because it is not a traditional book in terms of speaking to one demographic. But what I really wanted to do was show people, “You know what, a book that speaks to everyone really can sell.”
And it’s been good so far. We’ve had a lot of presales, and presales are how they determine whether the books are going into bookstores. So, I’m really hoping the bookstores will get the message that, you know, this kind of book will sell. And my vision for it, of course, is I hope it helps a lot of people, not just helping themselves claim space, but helps more women claim space with their sisters. Those are sort of the two big things that I really hope happen.
Andrea: I’m going to ask you what your advice is for somebody who wants to be a Voice of Influence. But before we do that, would you share with us how we can connect with you or find your book?
Eliza VanCort: Absolutely. So, you can connect with me at elizavancort.com. I always feel weird, like you know, “elizavancort.com.” But you can connect with me on elizavancort.com. There’s no U in VanCort. Everybody puts the U, and there’s no U – VanCort. And you can connect with me on LinkedIn. I actually really love getting feedback on LinkedIn and talking to people. It’s fun and interesting. And sometimes people will ask hard questions, but they’re always respectful, and I love meeting new people.
You can also go to my personal Facebook page, which has become a bit of a townhall in some ways, and that’s fine. But all of those things are ways in which you can connect with me. If you sign up for my Listserv on my website, you’ll get little tips, and I don’t bomb people with stuff. Every other week, I send out something that I hope has value and really helps people. And then in terms of getting my book, the best way to do it right now is just go on Amazon and buy it presale. And you just put in my name, and my book will pop right up.
Andrea: All right, so claiming space. Eliza, what advice do you have for somebody who would really like to have a Voice of Influence?
Eliza VanCort: Well, to me, there’s one thing that’s fundamental – and it seems simple – which is believe you have the right to claim space. Because so much of the time we’re given the message that we don’t, we don’t have the right to claim space. And until you believe that, you can’t use any of the tools in my book because you have to believe you have permission to do so. And so, give yourself permission and believe that you have the right to claim space. Because after that, once you believe that, it’s just implementing tools. But that is the hardest hurdle, and we’re 50% of the population so we should be claiming 50% of the space.
Andrea: And your book offers both – it speaks to the heart, and it speaks to the tools. It gives people what they need to be able to do it. And so, it’s almost like a textbook, but with a little bit of that… I don’t know, that extra ability to tap into why we should do these things too, and why we should think about it.
Thank you so much for being with us on the Voice of Influence podcast, Eliza. I wish you much success with the book.
Eliza VanCort: Thank you.
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