Why It’s Hard for a Critic to Share Their Own Art

//”Everyone’s a critic.” But does it have to be that way? Putting your work out into the work tends to be a scary thing.  Will others value it the same way you do?

Andrea shares how a conversation about Star Wars spurred her to think about approaching creative self-expression with a constructive, rather than critical, eye.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Deep Impact Method
• Voice of Influence Programs for Teams, Leaders, and Organizations

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Transcript

Hey there!  It’s Andrea, and welcome to the Voice of Influence podcast.

So, yesterday, I took my son and a friend of his to the park.  And as we were driving home, they started talking about Star Wars.  They weren’t just talking about Star Wars.  They were talking about how the old version of Star Wars, the first three movies were the best movies and how the most recent ones…  I’ve heard plenty of people criticize the kind of in-between ones of the early 2000s, but how the most recent ones even, they’re just no good.  Star Wars just went down, and it’s no good anymore.

And I was sitting in the front seat as these boys were talking in the back, and I was so irritated.  I mean, even sitting here right now talking just like in my office all by myself, I had this feeling of like, “Really?  Really?  Why are we criticizing?”

This is such an interesting phenomenon.  Number one, it’s interesting that I got so irritated.  One of my core beliefs is that if I’m irritated by something, then there’s probably something inside of me that is sad about that situation.  And that sadness will point me in the direction of some action or movement I should take that I might be feeling called to do.

And so, irritation, for me ⎼ even though it’s irritating ⎼ it’s always sort of this indicator of, “Well, if you’re really irritated about something, Andrea, you need to take a look, take a step back, and see what are you being invited to actually speak about or talk about or address or do?”  And that’s really how I even just started writing and putting myself out there, all because I was feeling this irritation with feeling like my gifts were going to waste.

And then I saw it in other people.  But I originally just saw it in fruit and how fruit was just going to waste.  And that was so irritating to me that I realized it was personal, and then I realized that it was universal.  And that this feeling of irritation was an indicator that I was actually really sad about all of the waste of human potential.  So, that led me to write, to start a business, and to do what we’re doing today.

Anyhow, back to Star Wars.  So, I was really irritated.  And I asked the boys, I was like, “Why, why, why do you have to just criticize a movie?”  And they started throwing out all these things that they actually didn’t like about the movies – the plot being too convenient…  I mean, these are eleven-year-olds, right?  Like, you got to be kidding me.  But, “The plot’s too convenient,” and “The main character doesn’t have to work too hard at finding what she needs or whatever,” all these different things.

And it was really, really frustrating for me because that is so the opposite way that I approach movies in general and art, actually, in general.  And so, as I was thinking about this, like, “Why am I so irritated with these boys?”  I realized that I’m irritated because I am constantly putting something out into the world.  I have a lot of offerings.  I went from, like, holding everything in to realizing that I really needed to put myself out there, to let people listen to what I had to say, see if they had anything that they wanted to gain from it.  And at the same time, I had to recognize that what I was going to put out there wasn’t going to be perfect.

And that was really hard because I actually went to school so that I could be a better performer when it came to singing, music.  And I learned a lot of things about how to perform in a way that really conveyed the message of the music but also did it in a way that was technically correct or you know, I use different tools to be able to sing songs in a way that was really an art form.  It was self-expression of some kind and I knew that every time I got up on stage, I was just going to sing a song.  And if people liked it, that was great.  But if they didn’t like it, then that really stunk.

And so, I kind of had to get to this point of recognizing that not everybody’s going to love it when I stand up and sing.  I’m not always going to be perfect.  And sometimes I’m going to screw up.  And does that mean that I should just not do it at all?  Should I just hold back?  So, I have enormous empathy for anybody that puts themselves out there.

So, when I’m listening to these boys, I’m thinking about all of the work that went into probably trying to be consistent with the Star Wars universe and the “Star Wars canon,” as my son would tell me.  Just trying to think through, like, “Oh my goodness, all these people spent so much time and energy and effort to produce these movies, and to put them out into a world of probably some of the most critical of audiences ⎼ people who love Star Wars.  And they still did it.”

And of course, you could say that they just did it for the money.  But that’s not why people put themselves out there.  That’s not why artists, for the most part, put themselves out there.  They do it because they want to connect with an audience.  They want to share.  They want to make money, but they want to connect.  They want the story to resonate, and they so care about that.

And so, to have everybody then take that offering that somebody put out into the world, and then everybody kind of looks at it from their own perspective and criticizes it, picks it apart, that is really irritating to me.  When I’m hearing my son do that, when I’m hearing other people do that…  And I understand that there’s room for growth, room for getting better.  I mean, we have a whole program around giving and receiving feedback because I do believe that it is one of the most important things for us to be able to do, as human beings and as people on teams trying to actually accomplish a goal.

So, giving and receiving feedback is so important.  But this isn’t feedback.  This is criticism.  This is mostly destructive criticism that just is tearing the piece down because it’s coming after the fact.  That doesn’t help something that’s already happened.  And it doesn’t help if you just have that critical attitude and you’re not even able to have an impact on the product next time.  But there are times when it’s super beneficial for us to share ideas with one another, to look at a situation and ask, “Is this effective?  Is it not?”

And one of the things that keeps ringing in my mind…  I love the fact that I get to interview so many really cool people on this podcast.  It’s one of my favorite things.  And one of the things that sticks out in my mind about this is when I talked to Carson Tate about feedback, and she said, “Not everybody gets to give me feedback, and I choose who I want to receive feedback from.”

And I think that that’s really important because once you have put yourself out there ⎼ which is a very vulnerable kind of thing to do ⎼ then if you have people come to you and say, “Well, can I just give you a little feedback on this?  I really think that it should have been like that, or this little piece right here could have been better,” that’s not helpful to that person unless they are open and ready for that feedback.  Unless you have established a rapport with that person, showing them that you’re really for them, and you believe in them, and they matter.  Like, when you can communicate that to somebody, and you’re like, “No, really, I’m so with you.  I’m so behind you on this.  What can I help you do?  Where’s the struggle for you right now?” and then they invite you to give your feedback on some area that they want to give, I think that is so beautiful and so helpful.

But when we take a piece of art… I’m thinking like everything is art.  Human expression of any kind is artistic.  It’s self-expression.  So, putting yourself out there, you’ve got things going on inside, ideas.  It might look really logical and linear, but when you’re problem-solving, when you are trying to think through and find the right solution, and you’re giving your ideas, you’re putting yourself out there, that is an offering.  And I believe that that is a form of self-expression.

And self-expression in and of itself, I believe, is art.  How do we judge art?  I’ve been in on conversations about this all of my academic career because my first degree was in music education.  So, how do we judge art?  Should we judge art?  These are some questions that people wrestle with and even when grading art.  So, instead of grading the art itself, you can grade the technique.  You can say, “Look, we’re gonna try this technique, and I want you to learn how to do this technique.”

So, you learn how to do the technique, and you can grade on how well you’re doing the technique.  But then when that person decides to apply that technique to their self-expression, that’s art.  So, at what point is it appropriate to start picking their art apart?  What is the point of picking apart art?

Okay, so I recognize that my son and his friend were also kind of using their own self-expression.  They were using their own abilities to think and problem-solve, and thinking about the story, and what they would like to see happen differently with a story.  And in doing so, they were actually sharpening their skills as, perhaps, a storyteller.

So, in that sense, I can see why it would be beneficial to put on the critic’s hat every once in a while.  Especially when it comes to figuring out what somebody else is doing, understanding what they’re doing, understanding the effect that it has in the world, what kind of impact it’s having, and then asking the question, “Is that the same kind of impact that I would want to have?  Or would I want to have a different kind of impact?”

So, then I can use comparison ⎼ what they did, and then compare it to what I would want to do.  And ask the question, “Might I get a different impact in the world, impact with my art, impact with my offering if I were to change this little thing about the way that I approached the story?”  And in that way, I recognize that that is super helpful.  It is so helpful for us to compare and contrast and use those analytical skills to be able to think about those little tools of art, those little techniques of art, and look at the impact that it’s having and ask if that’s the kind of impact that we want to have.

And if we don’t care what kind of impact we have, we just want to put our art or our offering out into the world, that’s fine.  We can do that too.  And in that case, there’s no point in anybody coming back and offering us feedback because we’re not asking for feedback.  We’re simply sharing our self-expression.

But there’s a difference between just being critical and picking at everything and finding ways in which it is not as good as we would want it to be versus thinking about things analytically, considering different outcomes, considering how we could approach it differently, and thinking about it in terms of that mindset.

And really, what we’re talking about here is a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset.  “Am I going to go through the world picking everything apart that anybody has to say that I don’t like?  Am I going to go through the world picking apart every single offering that people put out there, because I feel better about myself if I do this?  I feel higher than them if I do this?  I feel like I’m the one that’s grading them if I do this, and it’s a power play to be able to pick people apart and pick apart their offerings?”  

Or am I going through the world looking at it with a growth mindset?  With a, “Okay, so not everything’s perfect, and it doesn’t have to be, and I’m okay with that.  This is what they put into the world.  How is it going to impact me?  How am I going to let it impact me?  Am I going to allow their offering to touch my life?  To make a difference in me, to help me feel something that maybe I hadn’t felt before, to help me realize something about myself maybe I hadn’t realized before?  To irritate me and to poke me in that spot so that I realize that maybe this isn’t their job to fix, maybe this is something that I am called to have an impact on?”

If we go through life with that kind of mindset, we’re going to have so much more impact.  We’re going to have so much more life and positivity, hope.  Because life isn’t about being graded now.  It’s about growing.  It’s about problem-solving.  It’s about that ability to keep moving forward, even when things get hard, to keep putting yourself out there even when people try to give you feedback that’s actually destructive.

I want to challenge each of us to think about how we’re going to approach any kind of offering that people put into the world.  So whether that be somebody that’s on a stage of some kind, or if it’s somebody that’s coming up to you and saying, “I have an idea for you,” or if it’s somebody who is creating a meal, you can appreciate the things that they do, the impact that they have.  You can appreciate the work that they put into it.  And that’s a lot of positivity when you start to think like that.

And then you can say, “But I didn’t necessarily like it.  That was kind of the impact that it had on me.  I didn’t really enjoy it.  But I can appreciate the fact that you put in all this other work, that this is your self-expression.  And as your self-expression, it is kind of a part of you.  So, I don’t need to be coming at you when you put yourself out there.  Instead, I can come to you with encouragement.  I can come to you with the appreciation.  I can come to you believing, like really believing and feeling, “I am for you.  I am with you.  I care about you.  I believe in you.”  And when I do that, then you might be open to hear what I have to say about your offering.  

This is what I see on a regular basis.  People who go through life criticizing everybody else or criticizing anybody that’s different from them, and not listening to what they have to say, not taking in their perspective, not taking their perspective… People who go through life like that ⎼ critical all the time ⎼ hate putting themselves out there in a real and authentic way.

So, if you’re like me and you ever feel like your gifts or your expertise, that it’s kind of going to waste because people really aren’t taking it in, it’s not really having the impact that you believe it could have…  One of the things I really want you to think about is, “How critical are you of other people and their offerings?”  Because if you’re super critical of them and their offerings, you’re going to be super critical of yourself and your offerings, and you’re going to be afraid of what other people are going to say about you.

But if you are willing to put yourself out there, if you are encouraging, if you are for people, you’re going to be more authentically you.  You’re going to be able to share from that place that is so real and true, in a way that is so much more powerful than just yelling at somebody, or criticizing, or tearing somebody down.  Work on your growth mindset, and be a Voice of Influence!

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