168: Selling From Love with Finka Jerkovic

 //Whether it’s a product or an idea, how do we move beyond selling as a transaction and instead make it the catalyst for transformation?  Finka Jerkovic joins Andrea today to discuss that, as well as why she believes confidence must be rooted in curiosity, creativity, and resourcefulness rather than being limited to competence.

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Transcript

Hey, there!  It’s Andrea, and welcome to the Voice of Influence podcast.  Today, I have with me Finka Jerkovic, who is an author, international speaker, workshop leader and business coach.  I’m really, really excited to have her on the show.  She works with clients in the areas of personal branding, leadership development, client experience, and employee engagement.  And she has just written a book, and it’s out already.  It’s called Sell From Love.  And Sell From Love will teach you how to shift from transactional to transformational selling so that you can sell with confidence, magnetically attracting clients and build a business that you love. 

 Andrea:  Finka, I’m excited to have you here.  Welcome to the Voice of Influence podcast! 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Thank you so much, Andrea.  And I am super excited to be here with you.  So, thanks for the invitation, and I’m looking forward to our conversation today. 

 Andrea:  I am too.  I am really honored that I got a chance to read the book already.  And so, I have all these notes on the book and everything that I did.  I compared it down to make sure that we just keep our conversation at a reasonable level today, but I’m excited to talk about it.  And for those of you listening or watching, we are going to be talking about this in terms of selling to clients.  But it also applies, I think, a lot of what you say, Finka, applies to folks who have a message that they’re trying to convey and to get other people to buy in to. 

 So, we’re going to couch everything in terms of selling from love to clients.  But just keep in mind that if you don’t sell to clients per se, you still probably have initiatives that you’re trying to push forward or a message that you’re trying to get other people to buy into.  And a lot of what we’re going to talk about today directly applies to that as well. 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Absolutely. 

 Andrea:  Yeah.  Tell me what your thoughts are on that? 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Well, you know, the impetus of selling from love really started when I was in a corporate career.  And I definitely had roles where I was an active sales professional, a financial advisor.  I was managing and leading sales teams, but then I transitioned into more of a consulting/partner-influencing type role in that corporate world.  And what I realized was, you know, whether you have selling in your title or not in your title, each and every one of us are looking to influence someone, or get them to buy in to an idea, or help them understand the perspective that we’re coming from. 

 And so, I remember reading this book by Daniel Pink; the title is, To Sell Is Human.  I love the title; I love the book. And, really, it does bring together this whole idea that when we’re communicating, we’re doing some form of selling, influencing, persuading, helping other people see our perspective, or, you know, for us, helping ourselves to see their perspective and see their point of view as well.  And so, Sell From Love is really about all of those things; and whether you’re, you know, a professional who’s selling products and services or you’re a professional who’s looking to sell big ideas, the book is really there to support you in how to do that in a way that feels in alignment, authentic, and in alignment to integrity for you. 

 Andrea:  Yeah, I love it.  Okay, so, Finka, you have a thriving coaching/consulting business.  Would you share with us why it is that you feel like it’s important for you to share this message about selling from love?  Why do you care if we sell from love or not?  We’ll talk about what that means exactly, but I first want to know, why even care? 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Why do I care?  So, the opposite of selling from love is selling from fear, and the world in which we live today is filled with an abundance of fear.  And when any action – especially an action that is driving a sales conversation, transaction, or transformation – when it is fueled by fear, it does not lead to the best outcomes.  You might get an outcome that you might have actually been striving for, but the optimal outcome that’s in your interest and the interest of those that you’re working with – also the community in the world at large – when it comes from an intention of selling from this posture of love, that’s when we all benefit. 

 And so, how I know this so well is because I’ve failed miserably around selling from love.  So, I completely know what it’s like to sell from the opposite of love, which is selling from fear.  And yeah, in my professional career, I might have hit the top scoreboards, I might have gotten awards, but there was a cost to it.  Either my relationships suffered, my marriage suffered, or I was not being authentic, and as a result, my health suffered as well.  And so, I’m intimately familiar with what it’s like to sell from fear. 

 And then, you know, I thought I learned the lesson of how to sell from love.  I thought I was in integrity and alignment.  I was a sales leader, and things were going really well.  And then I went into the coaching world, and things were going well.  And then I opened up my own business, and then that was another, again, experience of what it was like to sell from fear versus love.  And I was going into a whole new world of entrepreneurship and trying to sell courses and coaching programs online.  And I fell into many traps that I know my colleagues and clients have fallen into.  It’s like we forget what we know. 

 And, you know, I’ve been doing this all my life; and, all of a sudden, I go into a new experience; and I stopped doing it the way I knew was in alignment, which was selling from love.  And I’m like, “All right, let me just buy what the experts are saying, and I got to do it this way.”  And that was so fear-based and fear-induced. 

 And so, what I see out there in the marketplace… because of the environment where it’s fueled with so much fear and uncertainty, the sales and marketing principles out there…  I believe that we can have more ethical, more integrity-based, love-based messaging that helps people choose to buy, not because they’re afraid of missing out on something, but they’re choosing to buy because they want a particular experience.  They’re looking to meet a value that they have.  They’re looking to fulfill a dream or achieve a goal.  But it’s not induced by, “I’m scared because there’s a timeline.”  Or “You’d better take advantage of this or else…”  There’s not that FOMO and that fear of missing out that’s fueling their desire. 

 Yeah, and so, the timing for it is now because – especially with the environment that we’re all living and working with – there’s so much fear going on.  And I know that writing the book and going through this process in a year of a pandemic has helped me, like, stay congruent to selling from love.  And I look at my business and my relationships; like, nothing’s suffering.  So, I know it works, it works.  I know it works, and it’s a better way. 

 Andrea: “Nothing is suffering.”  That’s an amazing statement.  So, you mean nothing is suffering in your marriage, in your business… your business is still going strong in the middle of everything? 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Yes. 

 Andrea:  That’s awesome! 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Yes.  Yeah, literally, like right before we hopped on, I just got a client who said “yes” to a proposal, and we’re booking January 14th for a team building training for them.  But I will say, you know, even though I know this stuff, even though I teach it and I live it, I remember back in June – I think it was around June – you know, the pandemic was about three months in, and I did get struck with fear.  I felt this franticness, like I needed to… I had a signature program that was coming to a close, and my summer, I had planned I was going to work on my book project and get the book all done. 

 And I really wanted the summer to be enjoying with the family, enjoying time on our farm and really getting the book out into the world.  And something happened, you know.  The pandemic was going on, I was watching the news a lot, you know, staying informed.  And then I started thinking to myself, “Well, you know, I’d better take advantage of right now.  I should put together a coaching program.  I should put together some form of training curriculum that I can go out there and sell because, you know, money is going to dry up, and people aren’t going to have pockets with filled with money to spend on courses and training.” 

 And this idea that training and development and professional development was a “nice to have,” not a “must have”.  So, all these thoughts started fueling me, and I thought, “Okay, let’s get a program together.”  And I remember it was about a couple weeks that I’m frantically trying to put this program together.  My husband’s like, you know, “Okay, whatever you want to do.  You know, you just seem a little busy.” 

 And then I paused, and I had to think about it and say, “Okay, this energy that I’m feeling, it just feels so like…” there was so much fear in it, that I’m actually looking to put a program together, put it out there to, you know, sell and get people to buy into.  But I wasn’t in alignment.  I was doing it because I was afraid because, you know, money might not be there in a few months, because the pandemic is doing its thing, and the economy is suffering. 

 And literally, once I sat down and reflected on that, I just stopped completely.  And I said, “You know what, I’m not gonna do that.”  And I didn’t do it.  I didn’t sell anything.  And I just took the summer and did what I wanted to do, what my intentions were and then ended up with the busiest fall ever. 

 Andrea:  Love it.  I love that.  So, you’ve mentioned that you were kind of noticing things about yourself, and that kind of gave you an indication that you were in a more fear-based place.  So, what are some of those red flags that we should watch for in ourselves that kind of let us know that we’re maybe not in the right place, mentally… you know, specifically our hearts, I guess? 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Yeah.  So, number one, you know, looking at what was happening for me was there was a lot of “should-ing”.  “I should do this, I have to do this.”  I know there was this urgency in this hurrying state.  So, when we are selling from fear, fear doesn’t have patience.  It’s like now or never.  You better take advantage of it.  It feels very urgent action-ing.  It’s also that “should” voice.  “I should be doing this or have to,” like there’s just this…  And you can notice it.  I notice it in my body where it’s like this force takes over me, and it’s pushing me into this place.  And so that was a telltale sign, and the fact that I had to have conversations with other people. 

 So, I needed to go and talk to some colleagues and say, “Hey, I’m thinking about this.  What do you think?  What do you think about this?  What do you think?”  And then I went to another person and another person.  That scrambling and trying to get validation or mirroring back from other people that, “Yes, we’re doing the right thing,” that, again, is a fear-based action.  Because when we come from love, we intuitively know, “This is the right thing to do.”  So, when I decided not to pursue the program and not to put it out in the world, I didn’t actually go ask anyone if that was okay.  I knew it was okay. 

 And so, when we’re looking and seeking that permission and that validation… especially when it feels like, okay, it’s not only one person that I’m going to, you know…one or two people that you have in your sacred circle.  But you’ve got to go to four or five different people and that energy of just kind of, you know, “Am I on the right track?  Am I doing the right thing?” Those are fear-based energies.  And so those are two big things, and because I have fallen in the trap a number of times, I can notice them a little bit sooner. 

 So, it only took me a couple weeks, but I can tell you, in my past, you know, sometimes it’d take months, you know, before… because it’s like a creep.  It’s a fear creep.  You don’t notice it right away until, you know…  When I’ve had those moments where, you know, my back went out, my marriage was challenged or there’s things that had happened on the outside of it; even if work looked like it was going well, it wasn’t because everything else around me wasn’t. 

 Andrea:  It sounds like what you’d kind of referred to in your book as being aligned and maybe even, in particular, with Your Brilliant Difference, being aligned with Your Brilliant Difference.  Could you explain what that means?  Tell us what that means. 

 Finka Jerkovic:  So, Your Brilliant Difference is made up of two parts.  So, part one is your brilliance.  It’s who you are.  It’s this light that you bring into the world.  It’s a combination of your expertise, your strengths, your talents; all this wonderful experience that you bring to the table to offer to other people.  The difference part is your brilliance is not here for just you – it’s actually made for someone.  It’s here to solve particular problems.  It’s here to help people achieve specific goals, help them fulfill their dreams, and so it’s here to make a difference.  And so, looking at, you know, Your Brilliant Difference is there’s a part that all of us here are here to claim who we are and use that to add a positive impact into the work, the world, the relationships in the communities that we live in.  You know, so when I discovered my brilliant difference, it was this moment of just coming into my own.  Can I tell a quick story? 

 Andrea:  Please do. 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Okay.  So, most of my life… I have two names.  Actually, I have three names; we’ll just talk about my two names.  The third name is way too complicated.  So, my name is Finka.  And when I was six years old, my mom and I were heading over to register me for Grade One.  And as we were walking through the school corridor, she looks over at me and she says, “Finka, do you want to change your name?”  I’m like, “Change my name?  What do you mean changed my name?”  And she said, “Well, if you want to make it easier on yourself.”  And so when I was growing up, you know, unique names weren’t the norm.  You know, Mary, Lisa, Kathy, those were the names in my classroom. 

 And I looked up at her and I said, “Wow, okay, I could change my name.  This is kind of cool,” you know it was something to do.  And the first thing that popped into my head was Josie.  And Josie wasn’t a random name.  It was my neighbor’s daughter’s name.  She was twelve.  And so me being six and her being twelve, she was everything that I wanted to be.  I looked up to her.  I wanted to be just like her.  It was like, “When I grew up, I want to be just like Josie.”  And so I was just like, “All right, I wanna be called Josie.”  And so my mom went and registered me as Josie. 

 And it was kind of that first experience around when something’s different about you, in order to make life easier on you, you change it, and you do it so you can kind of fit in.  And, you know, my mom’s intentions were all great.  But then what I did with that afterwards was I started doing more of that. 

 And so, literally, as I was growing up at school and then later in my professional career, everyone knew me as Josie, and at home, everyone knew me as Finka.  And so it was like I had this dual life that I was living.  There was a part of me that showed up at work and school – you know, very professional, Type A, very driven, results-oriented – and then there was this like, quirky, clumsy oftentimes, version of me, and personable, and sensitive, and emotionally intuitive.  Like, there was this other part of me that showed up at home in my relationships, and it was like I divided myself. 

 And there was a point in my corporate world where I was a branch manager, and I was walking around the branch.  And at the time, they had a very fear-based micro-sales management process, where they would make us check in like literally every hour to report number of sales, you know, client calls, meetings, all sorts.  It was a very uncomfortable experience, and it wasn’t the way I knew I needed to sell or the way we needed to sell to be successful.  And so, I also then adopted that as well.  And I remember I was walking through the branch, and all of a sudden, I had a panic attack.  But at the time, it felt like a heart attack.  And I’m like, “Oh God, I’m having a heart attack.” 

 And I looked around, and I didn’t tell anybody because I thought if I’d let them know, they’re going to think I’m weak and I’m not strong enough to lead.  And so, I got my purse, and I got in the car, and I drove myself to the ER.  And you know, I’m complaining I have pain down my left arm or numbness down my left arm, pain in my chest.  They wheeled me in, and you know, I’m all wired up.  And I remember lying there, and I remember it was this moment of just deep sadness, where I felt that everything that I had lived for was… like, this was it, like this was it.  And the main thought that showed up for me was, you know, is being who I thought everyone wanted me to be was going to cost me my life in that moment. 

 And at the time, I didn’t know it was a panic attack.  And, you know, I walked out of there, everything was fine.  It was a panic attack.  That was like my wake-up call that my life was on the line now if I’m going to continue to be who I thought I needed to be to make other people happy, to make other people comfortable, to help people accept who I was and the differences I brought to the table. 

 And that’s when I really started on this path of Your Brilliance Difference.  Each and every one of us have a specific gift that we’ve come into this world to offer to other people, and it’s up to us to claim it.  It’s up to us to own it, and then we use that gift.  And I look at our work that we do, it’s through our work that we give it an opportunity to add value to others but also for us to benefit from giving our gifts to the world.  Because it’s fun when you get to do work you love, when you get to use your strengths and what you bring to the table.  So, you know, we get lots of good stuff out of it too.  It’s not only for other people, but we do get a lot of good stuff out of it. 

 Andrea:  Love it.  Thank you for sharing that story.  I love that story.  And you tell it in the book too, but I’d heard it before, and it is quite… like, that idea of changing our name, it’s so funny how names mean so much.  They mean so much, and labels can mean a lot too.  And to make sure that the name that you have that you feel aligned to, any kind of way that you’re expressing yourself in the world… it doesn’t always feel like it’s possible.  But, you know, like you were talking about before, having these red flags that maybe things aren’t the way that… is this really what you want?  Is this what you want?  And if not, then maybe it’s time to get realigned.  I like that. 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Yeah.  Yeah, I remember that moment like it happened yesterday.  I was in my coaching class.  It was the last day of the program.  We all had to make this box of things that would represent who we are and what we wanted to be in the world.  And I remember, there was a massive snowstorm here in Toronto at the time, and literally I couldn’t go home to put anything in this box.  So, I went to the drugstore, and I grabbed a couple of things, but the main thing that I put in there was my driver’s license because driver’s license had my name on it.  And it was like this, you know, moment that is tattooed in my heart of the day that I said, “I’m going to be me, all of me, all the time.” 

 And again, it was again, that moment of… it wasn’t that I was afraid to be me anymore.  And I was in love with finding out who I really was because that’s that part I didn’t know because I had put her away in so many different ways, in different relationships and in different areas of my career that it was time.  And I will say that this book, Sell from Love is a big part of who I am, and there are personal stories that I share. 

 I remember in the writing of it, I had some colleagues read the book to give me some feedback on it – you know, just beta readers as a process to writing the book – and one of the main things that they had told me was…  It was funny.  When I first wrote the book, I wrote a lot of stories about me.  Then the second time I wrote the book, I took all the stories out.  The third time I wrote the book, I put some stories in, and then I gave it to other people to read.  And then they said the things that they liked most were the stories that I shared. 

 And then I went and wrote it again, and I added more stories.  And so, that’s the value each and every one of us bring is that people don’t want to hear what we know or what we do; what they want to hear are the stories that we’re here to tell. 

 Yeah, and I look at Sell from Love as the, you know… it’s just another way of expressing who I have been and who I’m becoming.  And I know that that is what you’re doing and all the listeners, we’re all doing that together in our own way.  Whether it’s in our businesses, whether it’s in books, whether it’s in what we’re teaching, whether it’s in the ideas that we’re looking to share and make change into the world, those are extensions of us that we’re looking to bring out. 

 Andrea:  It’s so important.  I’m going to go to a few things that you’ve you actually said in the book.  So, this particular passage, you’re referring to redefining confidence… so I’m on page 126.  And when you talk about redefining confidence, there reason for that, and it seems like the reason is that… it’s pretty hard to maintain confidence and our competence is what I think you said because it seems like there’s always more to learn, you know, like we’re never quite there.  Here we go, this is what you want others to, I think… to position their own confidence.  “I am confident in my ability to be curious, creative, and resourceful.  Even if I don’t know what to do, I do know that I’m confident in my ability to figure it out.” 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Mhmm. 

 Andrea:  Why?  Why this?  Why is this how we should redefine confidence? 

 Finka Jerkovich:  Because if we continue to rely on competence for confidence, it always falls short.  So, for instance, that transition from when I went from corporate professional to business owner, I had no competence in owning and running a business, right? 

 Andrea:  Right. 

 Finka Jerkovich:  And as a result, it affected my confidence.  And then as a result of that, I got amnesia and forgot about everything else that I knew.  And so, it actually creates more doubt and infringes on any ounce of confidence we might have within us.  However, if approaching – so again, let me take that same scenario, from corporate professional to going and owning and running a business – if I didn’t rely on competence, I don’t know.  But, you know what, I am freaking curious about how this is all going to work out.  I wonder how I’m going figure this out.  And based on my past experiences, I know that I figure things out, and even though I might look messy, you know, or it might not always look so pretty, you end up coming out on the other side of it. 

 And so, that’s where I always think, you know, we can go back on experience that every time we try something new, every time you’ll learn a new skill, you’ve made your way through; may not always be pretty.  So, when we rely on competence, and that’s where a lot of confidence comes from.  It’s like, “Once I know everything, once I, you know, have all the experience…” it slows us down.  Because if you can rely on having that knowing that you are resourceful, creative and capable of figuring things out, then you’re going to be just fine. 

 I always love how I bring lightness.  When I’m not feeling confident or I don’t have the competence to do the thing that I’m looking to do, I just ask myself, “I wonder how the heck I’m going to do this.  I wonder like…” you know.  I’m learning a whole bunch of new skills.  Like, writing a book was a whole new skill.  And if I allowed my lack of competence to drive me to write this book, I would never have written it. 

 Andrea:  Sure. 

 Finka Jerkovic:   But my curiosity… and you know this experience, right? 

Andrea:  Yeah. 

Finka Jerkovic: Yeah, that whole writing process.  But if you are open and you say, “I wonder how I’m gonna write this book?  I wonder how this is all gonna work out?”  That’s curiosity.  And then tapping into, like, the depth of resources we have access to by, you know, calling a friend, reaching out, or going on the internet.  We have access to things that will tell us.  So, we’ve recently started beekeeping two years ago, but every year we’re learning something new about it.  We also grow lavender and make essential oils.  So, on Sunday, we decided, “Let’s make lip balm.” 

 Again, no competence, no idea.  But we were confident to go into it because we were creative, resourceful, we know we can figure it out, and we failed a little bit.  So, we made it.  So, here’s the little tube of it.  It smells great.  It’s soft, and it’s nice.  It actually lasts till morning.  The only problem is there’s these pieces of honey that are still, like, in it.  So, what we forgot to do is we literally took the wax from the hive, put it in our mix of melting for making lip balm, but we forgot to separate the honey.  So, we made a mistake. 

 So, now, I’m not going to go punish myself, “I’m such an idiot.  I should have known better.”  It’s like, “No,” right?  So, what we did last night, we took the honey, we took the wax, we melted it and now it’s separating.  Wax is going to be on the outside, and honey is going to be all underneath, and then I can use it again.  So, kind of like a simple example like that of we’re always venturing to things that we don’t know.  But if I relied on my competence, I probably would have never went and tried to make lip balm or write a book. 

 Andrea:  Hmm, it sounds like more of an adventure of discovery than, “I’m trying to achieve perfection in everything that I do.”  It sounds way more exciting and less pressure-filled. 

 Finka Jerkovic:  So, one of the things I noticed as we were making our products that we make from our farm here – our lavender essential oil and our calm serums – there’s a difference between making a product like this and a product like a book.  And why I share that with you is when I make this, it’s separate from me.  This is our Lavender Calm Serum.  So, it’s a lavender mist.  So, I didn’t actually… Like, I grew the lavender.  We processed the lavender.  We made the product, but it’s not me where the book, that’s a little bit different because these are my ideas, and they’re a little bit more personal. 

 So, if someone says they don’t like our Calm Serum, I take it a little… you know.  There might be some feedback, but I might not take it as personally [as] if someone says something critically about the book.  I just wanted to give you that example because especially, when we’re selling our ideas, when we’re sharing our body of work, when we have our thought leadership and our “voice of influence” that we’re putting out into the world, what happens is because they came from us, we think they’re of us.  And when people don’t like them or they’re not perfect – let’s pick off of that perfection – we are more hesitant to send them out because they’re going to be up for judgment.  They’re going to be assessed, and they’re going to be up for criticism. 

 And for me, what has really helped is creating products has really helped me – like, a product that’s not an idea from my head or from my heart – separating the book also from my head, from me.  That it came from me, but it’s not of me, and it doesn’t identify who I am.  There are ideas that, you know, I got to have an opportunity to write on a page – that’s the same thing.  So, does that make sense?  Sometimes we’re so much more invested… and this is where that separation of the ideas that we share in our thought leadership in our body of work.  There will be a more intimate relationship with that, and we’ll be more hesitant to share it. 

 And so, now I’ll go back to that radical confidence.  So, even more with radical confidence, we have to rely on that mantra, “It’s not my competence, it’s my creativity.  It’s my capability and my resourcefulness that I have my ability to figure out how to get these ideas out into the world, how to invite people into that conversation.”  It becomes even more important to have radical confidence, especially with our thought leadership and the ideas that we’re selling and sharing out in the world. 

 Andrea:  I think if there’s anything that I hope my children learn it’s that.  You know, like that you don’t have to know everything coming out of school.  What I hope that they come out of their school time and their living with us, you know, throughout their childhood is a confidence in their ability to handle life and to tackle problems and all that kind of stuff.  And so, that is so good.  And I think when I read that.. and maybe when I’ve heard you say it before, I’ve been really like, “That’s right.  That’s right because there is a distinction between my competence and my confidence and my ability to pull something off.”  Because I think that actual confidence in those things is what’s gotten me to where I’m at, not my competence in all the things that I’m trying to do.  So, I really value that, Finka. 

 I want to go on.  You said, “When you sell from love, you’re present to what is, not to what should be.  You’re alert and conscientious about what’s going on for your client rather than for you and what you want.”  When I read this, I was thinking… you know, I think most of us want what’s best for others and yet, you know, we don’t just want to make a sale.  Like, we don’t want to convince people of just taking our offering or to listen to our message, but it is easy to slip into that enthusiasm that we have for our solution.  So, “I’m so enthusiastic about my solution that I kind of end up forgetting that there’s all this other stuff going on for you.”  So, what can we do to center ourselves and be more present to the people that we’re actually serving and not just to our solution? 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Mhmm.  I love that you pulled that piece from the book.  That one is specifically in mastering the selling from love skills, and being present, and listening.  You know, when we are present with our client, when we’re present with ourselves, we’re not listening to the inner narrative of what’s going on, that excitement, “I can’t wait to tell them about this.  I hope they take it.  I hope they buy it,” or, “I can’t wait to work with this client because this client is going to be awesome to work with,” all those things.  Yeah.  They’re such natural human experiences for us to have.  It’s good to be excited.  It’s good to want to work with a client. 

 So, our clients need to sense the enthusiasm and the excitement that we’re experiencing because that’s part of their process of, “Yeah, I want to work with this person because this person is so excited to work with me.”  I love telling clients, like, “I really want to work with you.  I’m really honored to have this opportunity.  I’m looking forward for the chance or the opportunity to work with you.”  Where we have to come to a place of is non-attachment.  So we can be excited, and we can have the desire and want to work with a client, but we can’t be attached to working with them. 

 And so for example, last week, I sent out a proposal for a client to do some team training with them, and it’s my Your Brilliant Difference Team Transformation Program.  And so, I sent the proposal out.  And literally, you know, we went through the process, they had the proposal sitting on their desk, and that was that.  And, you know, I do have follow-up processes, but I no longer stress about, “When are they gonna reply?”  “I wonder what they’re thinking”  “Do they need more information?”  “What did they think about the proposal?”  “Was it too expensive?”  “Was it not expensive enough?”  Like, all those things, like, I forget about that stuff, and I’m like, “It’s in their court now.”  And I wait, and when it’s time to follow-up, I’ll do my follow-up with this particular [client]…  And for me, it’s like, “You know, I’m excited to work with you, but I’m not attached.  If it’s right, and it’s good for you, and it’s a fit…” 

 Again, when we’re selling from love, we are not pushing ourselves onto people.  We are creating invitations for an opportunity for us to create change and transformation for our clients.  They get to be the decision maker in that.  Our enthusiasm and excitement’s part of it, and they need to feel that and sense into that.  At the same time, we are not attached if they choose us or they don’t choose us.  And that is the one thing that’s important. 

 One other thing if I can share that has been instrumental in helping me be more present in my life, be more present with my clients, be more present with what’s going on – you know, the narrative in my head and the emotions that I’m feeling, whether they’re fear-based or love-based – has been meditating.  So, taking out, you know, thirty minutes every day, to actually observe what is going through my noggin, it has helped me be present because I’m more aware of the voice in my head.  Because what steers us away from being present is the voice in our head. 

 And so when we can become aware of the voice in our head, all of a sudden, when we’re engaging with the client, when we’re having the conversation, we’re not wrapped up of, “I wonder what they’re gonna say.  I wonder if, you know… an objection that we might get.”  Or when you get to the price, you know, you’re going through the process, then you’re dreading the question, like, “How much does all this cost?” or, “How do we start or any of those…” your head is nowhere there because you’re present with them. 

 And so that that would be the two things is non-attachment to an outcome but bring your zest and zeal for what you want for yourself and for your client.  Be excited, but don’t be invested in a specific outcome.  Oftentimes, what I find happens is when we’re invested in a specific outcome, it actually restricts the potential of the outcome that it actually can be because we’re fixated on, [Text Wrapping Break]“It has to work out this way.”  But what if there’s a better option that we didn’t even think of, right? 

 Andrea:  So, Finka, you seem to kind of have a basic thesis that it’s better to go deeper with the clients that you have than to try to kind of stay a surface level.  And, you know, you talk about a sales funnel and how you don’t really appreciate the sales funnel because it seems like you’re saying it gets more surface level interaction, and it seems to usually be fear-based.  What do you want others to know or believe about the level of work that they can do with clients? 

 Finka Jerkovic:  So, when I think of a sales funnel where it trips me up and has always got me tripped up is it focused a big amount of time on the numbers on conversion rates, you know, from meeting to discovery call to proposal to close.  Like, you know, how many clients you have to meet, what percentage converts, and the whole idea of a funnel is you need a whole bunch at the top in order to come to the bottom and have the select few that you get to work with.  What doesn’t work for me is it actually makes selling very transactional.  It’s very, you know, number and transactional oriented that we put people in these conversion rate boxes. 

 And I get data and I understand numbers are really important, but the thing that we have to be mindful of is not getting so scooped up in the numbers that we forget about the relationships that we’re building, the relationships that we’re connecting too, and that’s the depth.  And so, I like to actually flip the funnel sideways, and I say, “Let’s use a megaphone instead.”  And so, the whole idea of a megaphone instead of a sales funnel is looking at, you know, each and everyone of us are made to work with specific individuals.  We’re made to work and our offerings are there to support…  You know, if you’re a leader of a team, what you’re doing is for a specific audience.  If you’re a business owner, you know, selling a particular product, it is for a specific type of person, or a solution that’s going to solve for a particular type of audience; the same if you’re doing services. 

 So, we actually start narrow.  We want to start narrow.  We want to get to this notion that we’re not here to serve everyone; we’re here actually to serve a select few.  And if we can get really clear on who they are, a problem we’re solving for them, what goals we’re helping them achieve, what values we’re helping them meet, and even bigger, what dreams we’re helping them to fulfill, that’s the depth of the transformation we help them fulfill on using our products or services or expertise.  And then the idea of a megaphone is when we go that deep, that the client then becomes our advocate. 

 So, what’s coming out of the megaphone is not a screaming off the top of the roof, saying, “Hey, look at me!  Look at what I can do for you,” any of that.  We actually leverage the power of these multiple voices, whether it’s through the communities we built or through word-of-mouth marketing and referrals, that’s how businesses are really built and developed into relationships.  And so, it’s a relationship love-based way that we are very selective on who we work with.  We dive deep and over-deliver generously on how we serve them, and we look to serve a transformation, not a transaction. 

 And then from there, they become our advocates and ambassadors going out and spreading the word on the love that we have for them and the work that we got to do with them.  And they get to tell other people on how much they loved working with us. 

 Andrea:   Do you ever make like the request that they would refer you to others, or do you just sort of let them decide if they’re going to do anything about that?  Do you ever make that suggestion? 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Well, I’m going to say it depends on, you know… in September, I worked with a client, and we had such a great experience working with them and doing the experiential training that we delivered for them.  It was easy for them to just say to me, you know, “If you need an endorsement, if you need a referral, if you need anything from us, please don’t hesitate and ask.”  And I said, “All right, I’m asking.  Send people my way, you know what I do, keep me in mind.”  And so when we sell from love, oftentimes, you know, it’s okay to ask.  So, when we’re asking, we have to be in alignment to a love-based intention, not a fear-based. 

So, when we ask from fear because, “I need more clients.  I need more sales.  I need more revenue,” when it’s coming from that and that’s the motivation of the referral, your clients are going to feel it, and it’s going to be icky for you, and it’s not going to land.  And you actually might affect your clients’ experience with you as a result.  But if you’re completely in alignment, you love the work that you do, and you have clients that you’ve served, and you feel it’s coming from a place of just getting out there and serving more people because you know they know a lot more people that you could work with and help, go ask. 

 And again, it’s the intention or what’s behind the ask.  So, if you’re asking from fear, it may not land, and it’s not going to feel good for you, and it’s not going to land as well for the client.  When you’re asking from a place of positive intention and, you know, looking to share your work and continue to make a meaningful difference to other people and from that love base, then it will have legs to keep going. 

 So, I want to just touch on one thing because how do you go from when you’re afraid to ask?  So, it can be asking for a referral, it can be asking for a client to work with you.  It could be, you know, writing a blog and saying, you know… make an ask – so just to sign up for something at the end.  We might be afraid to do that.  There is visceral fear.  So, what I’m saying is just because you feel fear doesn’t mean you don’t take action, okay?  What we want to do is we want to take aligned action. 

 And so, I could still be afraid to ask for the referral.  However, if I am conscious saying, “Wow, I want to ask Andrea for referral because she knows this person that I want an introduction with, and I know I can do some good work with them.  But I’m so afraid to ask, but the intentions behind why I’m asking is for the goodness of serving and helping and bringing my gifts to other people,” go ahead and ask.  So, you can still feel afraid, but again, it’s not a fear of you not getting a sale, you missing out on something.  It’s the intention behind the ask.  So, hopefully that’s clear, and that makes sense.  Yeah, that you can still be in fear but act from love. 

 Andrea:  So, Finka, we need to wrap up and I’m going to ask you now for information about how people can get a hold of you, and find your book, and that sort of thing, and listen to your podcast.  Then I’ll ask you one more question about any final words you have for somebody who wants to be a “voice of influence”. 

 So, first of all, where can people get a hold of you and your book, and find your podcast? 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Thank you for asking.  So, you can find everything about the book and about the podcast at www.sellfromlove.com.  And so, if you just pop over to the website, you’ll see information about the book.  Also, when you get the book, there is an accompanying workbook that comes with it.  So the book is very practical.  So, not only are you getting information, it’s taking that information, the insights, and actually applying it to your work and to your business.  And so, there’s a workbook that also comes with it.  There is a Sell From Love test.  What that is is, you know, if selling is not going well for you in some capacity, there might be a gap.  And so, you can take the Sell From Love test as well to understand where the gap might be.  Is it, you know, in loving yourself, loving your client, or loving your offer?  And so, those would be the best places to learn more about that. 

 Andrea:  That’s great.  And this is kind of fun but episodes of us interviewing each other are coming out on the same day.  How fun is that?  So, if you’re listening to this show, you need to go over to Finka’s show right away after this and go find her interview of me because we’re both ready to share.  So, it’s kind of fun. 

 Finka Jerkovic:  I know, I know.  I said, “It’s Andrea and Finka taking on the world today!” 

 Andrea:  Yep, overtake.  We’re taking it over.  So, Finka, what final words do you have for somebody who wants to be a “voice of influence”? 

 Finka Jerkovic:  I would say, one is honoring who you are, and finding the most authentic version of you and using that to power up your “voice of influence”.  Number two would be, in order to have a “voice of influence”, it’s our ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and see the world from their point of view.  And so being able to be integrally authentic to who you are, but also seeing the world from other perspectives are two positions we really need to stand in to be a “voice of influence.” 

 And then finally, we need your “voice of influence” because it’s here to make change and add positive impact in the world, and there’s nothing more the world needs right now are strong, positive, optimistic, change-making voices of influence out there in business, in family and in communities doing the work that we need you guys to do.  So, that would be my final thoughts on that. 

Andrea:  All right.  Thank you so much, Finka.  You guys can find all of the things that Finka mentioned, the links to her website and her book and all that on our show notes at voiceofinfluence.net/podcast. 

And Finka, again, just an honor to have you here.  I’ve enjoyed working with you when I’ve had the opportunity to work with you as a coach for me.  And I really appreciated the book, and I’m excited for people to read it, including some of my clients.  So, thank you! 

 Finka Jerkovic:  Oh, you’re welcome!  Thank you so much, Andrea, for having me today. 

 

 

 

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